Wind Beneath His Wings Page 7
He let out a mighty roar and flew into the air. Once he hovered above them, Casimir swooped down and grabbed Aracas and Rhys in his claws a second before a very large thirty foot python thrust its head forward, trying to bite Rhys. Casimir flew over their heads and turned. As he approached the portal Casimir was happy to see that everyone had made it through and only Destrain and Dain stood at the opening.
As he got closer, Destrain’s eyes widened and he thrust his hands up into the air, releasing a fire ball. It whizzed past Cas and he could hear that it struck something just below him. He couldn’t afford to look. He needed to get the Prince to safety. Once he did, and the king and his family were safely through and the portal closed, then he and Aracas could fight their way out of whatever hell lay behind him.
As he got closer, Destrain and Dain continued to blast the advancing snakes with their magic. A hiss too close for comfort came from below him and Cas’s heart sank. He knew he had no other choice but to fly straight through the portal. The only way to get the king, his brother, and the prince to safety and the portal closed was if he continued his flight.
Cas sent out a silent prayer to the heavens to watch over his family and his beloved. He knew he would not be returning any time soon, and he suddenly felt so helpless, his heart was breaking. He took a deep breath and quickly came to terms that his fate was now sealed with the fact that he had made his choice. Casimir flew through the opening in the portal, carrying Aracas and Prince Rhys with him.
He flew over the heads of thousands of pixies as they stood awaiting their king. Cas landed in a clearing and gently placed Rhys and Aracas on the ground, then landed a few feet away and shifted. He looked to the portal in time to see Destrain and Dain step through, then the king closed the portal, sealing them all inside, safe from the war.
Tears burned his eyes as he thought of never seeing his family again or holding his wife in his arms. His life was now here and he would do as his father wished, standing by Destrain’s side to protect him and his people until his father came for him.
Tears ran freely down his cheeks as Cas came out of his memories and he brushed the tears away with his hand. He would not go through that again. He would not lose one more person he loved. He would not give up on Sutton, and he certainly wouldn’t let his mate die in some underground tomb. Casimir grabbed the phone again and hit the button. This time his mate’s soft voice said, “Hello?” and Casimir wept.
CHAPTER 8
“Cas? Is that you? Are you alright?” Sut asked in concern.
Sutton heard his mate on the other end give a short laugh, before saying in a rough gravelly voice, “You have half a mountain fall on you and you’re asking if I’m okay?”
Sutton couldn’t believe he was hearing his big strong dragon crying. No! Not your big strong dragon. You need to stop thinking that way. Stay strong, Sut!
“Sutton? Sutton are you still there?” Cas asked anxiously.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Sutton quickly replied, “Yeah, I’m fine. You didn’t tell me what’s wrong? Did something happen to someone out there with that last cave-in?”
Sutton sat there waiting for Cas to explain what was going on, and just when he thought the man wasn’t going to say anything, Cas replied, “Everyone here is fine. It was just… I was so scared… I mean, when that collapse… and you… gods, Sutton, I’m just so thankful to hear your voice.”
Hearing Cas’s voice breaking up like it was, Sutton felt the wall around his heart start to crack. However, he immediately thought of all those times his mate couldn’t give a shit about him, and the wall firmed right back up again.
“Yeah, well, I’m fine. I think we may be pretty much trapped in here now.”
“So you’re alright? I mean, you didn’t get hurt?” Cas asked once more.
“I have a small bump on my head, but nothing a couple of aspirin won’t take care of,” Sutton answered.
“Good. That’s good,” Cas whispered.
Not knowing what else to say or do, Sutton walked to the storage closet and pulled out one of the MREs. Reading it, “Vegetarian. Oh hell no.” Grabbing another he read the label, “Beef Stew. Now that’s more like it.”
“What are you doing?” Casimir asked.
“I’m a bit hungry, so I thought I’d get me a couple of these Meals Ready to Eat things. You know, they really aren’t so bad. I mean they’re not as good as what I get at Twix’s or The Cage, but they’ll do in a pinch,” Sutton said, filling the heat bag with water.
“Do you not know how to cook?” Casimir asked.
Even though he knew Casimir couldn’t see him, Sutton shrugged, saying, “I can, I just don’t like to. Besides, it sucks cooking for just myself these days since I moved out of mine and Logan’s apartment to give him and Jensen their own space, so I prefer to go out and have a bite with my friends. If I want to just sit and eat we go to Twixie’s. If we feel like some fun and drinks we go to The Cage. Both have great food.”
“I’ve been to Twix’s places in Crystal and in Maddox, both are great, but I can’t say I’ve eaten anything at The Cage,” Casimir replied.
“Oh man, you don’t know what you’re missing. Blake makes one of the meanest bacon cheeseburgers, and his fries have just the right crunch to them. You know he makes them from scratch, not those frozen things like most places have,” Sutton said, grabbing the plastic spoon and ripping open the small enclosed bag of Cheez-Its and munching on some.
Casimir stammered, “May… maybe, when w-we get you out of there… maybe, w-we can go and have one of those burgers?”
Sutton swallowed what he had in his mouth, unsure at first that he heard Casimir correctly. In all the time they had known each other, his mate never once offered to take him to a public place for a meal, beer, or even a cup of coffee. Hell, they never even really talked. Sutton knew next to nothing about Casimir except that he fucked like a god. When the two of them got together there wasn’t much talking. Well, he did most of the talking and Cas did the deflection. And then there was the fact that Sut wasn’t even sure if Cas listened to him when he talked. “I… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Casimir sighed, and after a few moments, said, “Sutton, I know I fucked up. I’m so sorry. I want the chance to make it up to you. Please… I really do care for you Sutton… hell, I would say I lo—”
“What’s my favorite color, Cas?” Sutton asked.
“What?” Casimir asked, sounding completely confused.
“My favorite color, what is it?” Sutton asked.
Still sounding confused, Casimir replied, “I… I don’t know… blue?”
“Turquoise. What’s my favorite song?” Sutton asked.
Casimir quietly answered, “I have no idea. Sutton, what is—”
“What About Now by Daughtry. It reminds me that no matter how bad things are, there are always those out there that are going through far worse,” Sutton answered, emptying the water from the heating bag and opening his stew. “You see, the thing is, I know what you were about to say earlier, but I can honestly say you would be mistaken. There is no way you could feel any special feeling for me other than what the mate pull provides, Casimir. You know nothing about me… just as I know nothing about you.”
“I want to… I want to know everything about you, Sutton. I know you find it hard to believe, but I do, and if there’s anything you want to know about me, I promise, I will answer anything and everything. I just… Please Sutton. Please give us a chance. I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to make up for hurting you,” Casimir practically begged.
Sutton wanted to believe Casimir, he really did, but after everything… sighing, Sutton said, “I’ll tell you what. How about you tell me why you felt the need to keep our mating a dirty little secret and I’ll think about. Is it because I like to paint my nails and have my hair freaky sometimes? Were you ashamed of me? Did the idea of being mated to a silver fox shame you since you’re a big bad dragon and all?”
“What? If you wanted to, then why the hook ups where no one would know? Why treat me as if I was your greatest shame? I don’t understand, Cas. I… I tried to, I did, but damn, how long did you think I would just allow us to continue as we were? It got to the point that I just felt cheap and dirty. Like I was nothing better than a street walker.”
“Oh gods, Sutton. I never wanted you to feel that way. I swear. It’s just that… gods, this is going to sound so stupid,” Casimir muttered.
Sutton could hear the struggle in Casimir’s voice. “Stupid or not, just tell me if you really want this… us to have a chance. If I think it’s stupid I’ll tell you, but if it helps me understand… it can’t be that stupid.”
Sighing heavily, Casimir whispered, “If I… If I brought it out… I mean if I… we… allowed others in, then the mating would be real, but if I kept you to myself then it was a dream and…”
“Wait, you didn’t want our mating to be real? How the hell is that supposed to…”
“No, Sutton! Just… Damn it! I’m not explaining it at all correctly, and all I’m doing is pissing you off even more and making you hate me more than you already do. Fuck!” Casimir hissed.
Sutton knew Casimir was frustrated. He could hear that plainly in his voice. “Okay let’s do this a different way. How about if I ask you a question and you answer it?”
“Okay,” Casimir said, with a slight shake in his voice.
“Do you believe we are mates?”
“Absolutely!” Cas stated firmly.
Taking the bull by the horn, Sutton asked, “Do you want to be mates? I mean real mates.”
“Of course,” Casimir quickly answered.
“Because, you were once married to a woman, is it because I’m a man and you don’t want anyone knowing you’re gay?”
“What? No! I love that you’re a man. I love men. I love being with men. And my brother is gay, along with my nephew, both of my sons, and hell, everyone we know for the most part.”
“What did you mean by if we were open it would make our mating real? I mean, we are mates, Casimir. You said it yourself,” Sutton stated.
Casimir whispered, “Because, if others know, then the universe knows and if the universe knows, then you will be taken from me and I didn’t want to lose you, Sutton.”
Okay that was seriously not something Sutton expected to hear and he damn well didn’t understand. “Casimir, fate gives us our mates. I would think the universe already knew before we even did.”
Sighing heavily, Casimir whispered, “I told you it was stupid.”
“It’s not stupid, but it is confusing,” Sutton replied.
Casimir whispered, “As you said, I was married before the war. We weren’t true mates, but I loved my wife.”
Sutton listened as Casimir told him about his wife and family. Tears filled his eyes as he spoke about his mother and father and when he had saved Twix and Rhys, he knew he would never see his family again. Gods, the pain that must have caused.
When he finished, Sutton asked, “How did you find out your wife died during the war?”
“It took Destrain almost five hundred years to gain enough power to open another portal to this realm. Not wanting anyone to know who we were, Destrain and Dain did some mumbo jumbo that allowed our scent to be hidden. Shifters would know we were shifters, just not what kind. Aracas and I went to our homeland immediately… hoping… I don’t know what we hoped for really. However, when we got there we came across a small shifter village. We went into the cantina and got some beers and there was a bear shifter. We started talking and nonchalantly brought up the war between the phoenix and dragons. As we expected, everyone started talking about it and saying how sad it was when the dragon king and his entire family were killed. One of them said they had heard that all the dragons and phoenix were gone. No one had seen or heard from either again, and as far as they all knew, there were none left. Aracas and I returned to the pixie realm thinking all of our kind was dead. I had lost everyone and everything.”
“But you didn’t. Illan, Day, Wyndingo…”
“I know that now, baby, but not then. I had all these feelings inside of me… so much loss… so much pain for so damn long. All my hopes and dreams… all my wife and I ever talked about was having a family, and then… it was all just gone. My wife, father, mother, brother… just everyone gone. I was so alone. Then, we came back to this realm and I found that Illan and the others were alive, and then I discovered my wife had borne me two sons…”
When Casimir stopped talking, Sutton could tell there was deep sadness and hurt coming from his mate. “What is it? Your sons? They seem like great guys. I’ve met them a few times at The Cage when they go to watch Deja sing.”
“I’m ashamed to say. I’m afraid if I say what I was going to you’ll hate me even more,” Casimir whispered.
“Just tell me. What it is, Casimir? If we are going to even stand another chance at this there can’t be any secrets,” Sutton insisted.
“I haven’t really talked all that much with them. I… gods, I suck,” Casimir rasped.
Sutton asked, “Do you feel like if you get to know them that the universe will find out and take them away too?”
“Yes,” Casimir whispered.
“Why do you think the universe is so against you, or your happiness?”
He could hear Casimir take a deep breath, then slowly let it out before he replied, “Because, I left them. I went into that portal and I left them there to die. I sent my wife away to save her, but I left her too. They all…”
“Even if you had stayed that was no guarantee they would all be alive, or even some of them. Most likely you would have been killed with them. You were a hero that day, Casimir. You sacrificed so much to help the pixies escape and you saved the pixie princes,” Sutton said gently.
“I don’t feel like a hero. I feel like I deserted them and that’s why the universe doesn’t think I deserve to be happy,” Casimir said, crestfallen. “And if I show even the slightest bit of happiness it will all be taken away again, and that would destroy me. Not just because the universe took from me again, but the fact that I caused you, my brother and my sons to be harmed, because of me… it’s just too much.”
“Did you ever think that maybe the universe was trying to right a wrong, Cas?” Sutton asked.
“Wha… What do you mean?” Casimir asked in confusion.
Sutton took a sip of water, then said, “Think about it. All those years ago you thought everyone was taken from you and you were alone… no wife, no family… most of everyone you called friend was also gone. Now I know it might seem like forever to you, but then you and I both know that the gods’ lives are never ending, so time has no meaning to them. Hell, Jensen even said to me that time has no meaning for a God. To them what’s a few centuries, or even a millennium? Maybe when they got a chance to check in on how you were doing, they finally realized that damn, this was wrong. Cas shouldn’t be hurting like this, especially after all he did to save an entire race. Now they couldn’t do anything about your parents or your wife, but they could do something about you finding Illan again, and maybe they couldn’t give you back your wife, but they could give you a piece of her, and that is your two sons. Then… well, maybe they thought you had suffered enough and never wanted you to feel alone anymore, so they gave you… me. Not that I’m any prize, but…”
“You are more than a prize, Sutton. You are the sun, stars, and moon. You’re beyond beautiful, both outside and inside. Never think otherwise. I’m sorry I made you feel any other way. Gods, you have no idea how sorry I am,” Casimir whispered, so low, if Sut hadn’t been a shifter he wouldn’t have heard him.
Sut quickly as
ked, “What about Illan? Surely you talk with him?”
“Not really,” Casimir answered. “We talk, but not often. I’m a personal guard t… no, that is just another lie I tell myself. I won’t lie to you Sutton. Illan tries, I just tell him I can’t, because of work. I see him when Destrain meets with him, but I… it’s the guilt I feel for leaving. Whenever I see Illan, I think if only I had stayed, then maybe they would be alive and Illan wouldn’t have lost them too and been forced to take over as king, and suddenly be thrust with the weight of our people and the war on his shoulders.”
“I don’t think Illan sees it that way, mate. And you can’t keep living in the past. There is only two ways someone goes through life, Casimir. You can either exist in it, or you can live in it. When you shut yourself away, guard yourself, so nothing and no one can get in, or just go through the motions of life, you’re existing. I can’t do that, Casimir. I can’t just exist. I love life and all it has to offer,” Sutton softly replied.