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Wind Beneath His Wings Page 9
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“Day loves you, Illan,” Casmir quickly replied.
Nodding, Illan said, “Yes, but now is a hell of a lot different than six years ago. I smothered Day and pushed him so hard, fearing how he could be taken from me like you and so many others, that he snuck away from me and went to Crystal. Then I met my mates, and let’s just say I wasn’t much better with them. I was just so afraid that they would be taken too. It took me a bit, but finally I realized that my actions were going to cause me to lose them faster than any threat around me. Thankfully, they all have such wonderful hearts and they forgave my actions, just as your family and mate will forgive yours.”
Shaking his head, Casimir whispered, “I don’t know, Illan. My sons… I haven’t… I know I should have gone to them so many times and I tried, but I found myself watching them from a distance. Casius is so happy with his mates, and I told myself I should give him time to enjoy his mating life. I didn’t want Casius to think I preferred Lon to him, so I stayed away from him too, and then time just seemed to keep going. I felt like I had let too much time pass and now it would be awkward for us all so…”
“You stayed away,” Illan finished for him.
Nodding, Casimir rasped, “I’m so ashamed, Illan. I’m their father and I want nothing more than to be their father, but how can I be a father now? They’re grown men. The last thing they need is me and my messed-up self in their lives.”
“Messed-up self? What does that even mean?” Illan asked in confusion.
“I still have nightmares, Illan. I still see the pixie realm portal closing, but now I hear Jacintha crying for me. I feel her fear of trying to keep our sons safe, and then I picture her screaming for me as she is being slain…”
“Good gods, Cas. It was a war and you did what you had to do. Your job was to keep the pixie king and his people safe and you did what needed to be done. Think about it, Casimir, if not for your sacrifice, Day would not have Ethan, I would not have Justice or Avery, Morgan wouldn’t have Angelo, and the list goes on. Our numbers have been small both for the dragons and the phoenix since the war, but now we have four little ones and I’m sure more are to come soon. Your selflessness is the reason for our continued future. Anyone would be honored to call you father, as well as mate,” Illan insisted.
“I hurt him so bad, Illan. I… I hurt my mate. I can make all the excuses in the world to try and be forgiven, but… but in the end, that’s all they are. I fucked up and I don’t know if I will ever get him to trust, or believe in me again,” Casimir replied, defeated, as tears filled his eyes.
“I thought that’s why you asked me to date? You said we could try doing like the humans do and get to know each other,” Sutton softly said.
Casimir gasped and quickly stood, turning to see his mate sitting in a wheelchair looking at him curiously. “Oh gods, are you alright? Did you break something? Is that why you’re in a wheelchair? I swear to you I will take care of everything. I’ll come to your home and…”
“Casimir, I’m fine. I’m in the chair because of hospital rules about being released, nothing more,” Sutton answered.
“While that may be true about hospital policy, I don’t remember giving you the okay for a discharge, Sutton,” Doc Rob said, as he approached them.
Sutton rolled his eyes, turning the wheelchair around to face Rob. “Oh come on, Doc. I’m fine. I just have a few cuts and bruises that we both know will heal in no time. I just want to go home.”
“And I told you, with that bump you have on your head and the air quality in the mine, I couldn’t let you do that. You live alone and that means there’s no one there to watch over you if anything should happen,” Doc Rob argued.
“But I don’t wanna stay here, Doc. It smells funny and the bed is sooooo uncomfortable. I’ll get so much more rest in the comfort of my own home, in my own sleep number… you know what I mean?” Sutton said, giving the man the pouty lip.
Doc Rob lifted a brow and rolled his eyes. “Benji gives me that same look and—”
“You give in every time,” Sutton interrupted, with a snicker.
Doc Rob smiled, saying, “If I want to get some lovin, I do. Our baby can be a bit bratty when he doesn’t get his way. However, I don’t sleep with you, Sutton, and if this was Benji he would have three men to watch out for him, and one is a doctor. You do not. So, be a big boy and come back into the ER with me until I can get you a room for the night.”
“Oh Doc, come on,” Sutton practically whined.
“I could stay with him and watch over him. I mean if he’ll let me,” Casimir offered.
Sutton opened his mouth and Casimir knew he was going to turn down his offer, but then Doc Rob quickly said, “I might consider allowing him to be discharged if you promise to go with him, Casimir. I just can’t allow him to go home alone. We don’t know if the air conditions in that mine might have cause some issues or not, even if he is a shifter.”
Sutton sighed, then nodded. “How long are you suggesting I’ll need him to stay?”
“Two, three days max. I’m sure if there are going to be any problems they’ll manifest within that time period,” Doc Rob stated.
“Oh, there’s no way Cas can take two or three days off to help me. He has responsibilities with King Destrain and—”
Casimir quickly jumped in saying, “It won’t be a problem.”
Nodding, Doc Rob said, “Fine. I’ll put together his discharge papers, then we can go over his aftercare and what things you need to look out for. I’ll stop by his house tomorrow and do a wellness check, and we’ll see where we go from there.”
“You both do know I’m sitting right here, right?” Sutton asked, sarcastically.
“And if I could trust you to follow orders I would be talking to you. However, the moment you snuck out of the exam room, you lost that trust. Now give me a few minutes and we’ll have you out of here,” Doc Rob stated, then left to get the paperwork.
Casimir could see how nervous, and if Cas was honest with himself, he would say uncomfortable, Sutton was, sitting there looking anywhere but at him. Then it dawned on Cas as to why. “If you would prefer, we could ask Nick or one of your friends to stay with you, Sutton. As your mate, I would love nothing more than to care for you, but I understand if you would rather have someone else do it.”
Sutton’s shoulders relaxed as he let out a small relieved sigh. “I know you want to help me and all, and I really appreciate it, but I don’t think us alone at my place is a good way to start off the ‘getting to know each other without sex’ thing. It would be way too tempting.”
Nodding, Casimir looked at Illan. “Do you think you can contact Nick and see if he has anyone who can stay with Sutton while he recuperates?”
Illan pulled out his phone as he nodded. It didn’t take long before Illan was hanging up, saying, “Gage and Ronin will meet Sutton at his place. They’ll be staying there until Doc Rob gives the okay for him to be alone.”
“Again, Sutton sitting right here,” Sutton muttered.
Illan smiled at Sutton, saying, “I’m glad you’re doing well, Sutton, and I came here on behalf of the council to thank you for everything you did in that mine. You really kept your head, and because of you everyone is alive.”
Sutton’s cheeks pinkened as he quietly replied, “I did what any EMT would have done, sir, but thank you.”
Illan smiled, looking at Cas. “Can you give Sutton a ride home? I would, but I really need to get to the council building. We’re on our way to Savage Island for a few days to get a layout of the new training facility.”
“Shit, I was supposed to go with Destrain and for—”
Holding up his hand to stop Casimir from continuing, Illan said, “Destrain has Aracas and Pelt going with him. You just focus on your mate.”
“If you need to go, Casimir, it’s okay. I can call a taxi or…”
Illan turned to Sutton, saying, “No, he’s going to take you home and get you settled. It’s more than just a mate thing, Sutton,
it’s a dragon thing. Trust me, he needs to ensure you are home and safe as much as you want to get home safely.”
“Oh, okay,” Sutton muttered.
Doc Rob returned with the papers and went over all of Sutton’s dos and don’ts. He had just turned to leave, then turned back around. “Oh, and if I go and do my check and Cas or someone else isn’t there with you, I’m telling Nick, and I can guarantee he will not be happy.”
“That’s low, Doc,” Sutton said, in a huff.
Smiling, Rob said, “Maybe, but it’s also effective.”
Casimir helped Sutton to his vehicle and soon they were on their way to Sutton’s place. The tension in the car could be cut with a knife. Damn, it was a hell of a lot easier to talk to his mate on the phone than when he was sitting just inches away from him.
“Wow, it’s kind of crazy how much easier it was to talk to you on the phone than when I’m sitting right next to you,” Sutton said, still looking out the side window.
It was like Sut had plucked the thought right out of his head. Casimir replied, “I was just thinking the same thing.”
More time passed and neither man spoke, finally Sutton turned to face Casimir. “I know that fate chooses our mates for us, Casimir, but I believe that fate doesn’t make a mating happen. The two, or however many parties are involved, decide whether they will actually come together. I was willing to just jump right in at the beginning, no questions asked, but now, I’m glad we didn’t.”
“You are? Does that mean…”
When Sutton shook his head, Casimir stopped talking and listened to Sutton speak. “We know so little about each other, except in the biblical sense, and well… I want more than that in my mating. I want…”
Sutton stopped speaking just as Casimir pulled into Sutton’s driveway and parked the car. Turning to look at his mate, Cas asked, “What is it you want, Sutton? Whatever it is I’m more than willing to do.”
“I want what Jett and Zev have, as well as Deja and Shadow, Jensen and Logan, or Nick and Jagger,” Sutton whispered.
“I don’t understand. They are all mates. You and I are mates. It stands to reason that we will have what they have when we mate,” Casimir said, in confusion.
Shaking his head once more, Sutton said, “You’re not getting it.”
“Then please explain it to me. I want to understand, Sutton,” Casimir implored.
Sutton sat back not looking at Casimir. “Sometimes when we’re on our forty-eight-hour shift, Jensen will show up with dinner and a folding table and chairs. He and Logan will sit outside and eat together, just talking and laughing. Jagger will come into the station just to go into Nick’s office and cuddle for a half hour or so and they might kiss and stuff, but they talk and just enjoy each other’s company. Shadow will come into the club and bring Deja a meal, because he knows that Deja will get so into his practices he’ll forget to eat. I’ve heard the guys talking to their mates on the phone, saying they just wanted to hear their voices, and I watched Nick order three dozen long stem roses for Jagger, just to let the man know he was thinking about him.”
“You’re a romantic,” Casimir said, with a smile.
Shrugging, Sutton said, “I don’t know... maybe. I do know that anyone that sees them together knows they are meant to be right where they are. That the person next to them is the center of their universe and nothing and no one will ever compare to the love they have with them. You don’t have to be a paranormal to know that they are in love and totally committed to each other. Everyone can just see it and sometimes even feel a bit envious that it isn’t you getting that look from your man.”
Casimir listened to the wistful words coming from his mate. He knew that he would have to work hard, but he was going to do all he could to make the world know just how much he loved his mate. He wasn’t much of a romantic, but he was willing to try… for Sutton he was willing to do anything to help his mate forgive him and accept them as a couple.
“I know that you hurt me… a lot. I know that I’ve given you more chances than anyone should to make things right, Cas, and opening myself up to you could be the worst decision in my life.”
Casimir turned away feeling the pain of his mate’s words, then Sutton whispered, “But, it could also be the best choice I ever make. So… I’m willing to give you one more chance, Casimir.”
Casimir’s head whipped around and he looked at Sutton in shock and hope. Sutton held up his hand before Cas could say anything. “I want to try that dating thing you spoke of. I have time off from work and maybe we could go out for dinner, maybe catch a movie… something to get us moving in the right direction. But… there will be no sex, Casimir. I mean none. N. O. N. E.”
Casimir nodded his head in understanding, then shook his head.
“What? Did you change your mind?” Sutton asked.
“No, it’s just that Doc Rob said you needed to stay home and rest,” Casimir said.
A look came over Sutton’s face and Casimir knew immediately what the man was thinking.
“This isn’t because I don’t want to be seen with you in public, Sutton. I told you, I am completely committed to making this mating work. I just want to make sure we all follow the doctor’s orders. I won’t risk your health like that.”
“Uh huh,” Sutton said, the disbelief evident in his voice.
At first Casimir didn’t know what to say, and then Gage and Ronin pulled up next to them.
“Gage and Ronin are going to be staying with you until Doc Rob gives the go ahead for you to be alone again, right?”
Sutton nodded.
“How about I come back tomorrow night and we all have a nice dinner together? It might be in your place, but we can call it our first date,” Casimir suggested, with a smile.
Casimir could see Sutton thinking it over, and then he said, “If you invite your sons along as well.”
“My sons?” Casimir asked, surprised.
Nodding, Sutton replied, “Yes. It would be like you were introducing me to your family as your mate.”
Slowly Casimir nodded, saying, “I’ll ask them, but they may not be willing to come.”
“But at least I will know you’re trying,” Sutton responded.
Nodding, Casimir hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake. “I’ll call them immediately.”
CHAPTER 11
“So, tell me again why you’re doing this?” Gage asked in annoyance.
Sutton looked at himself in the mirror turning left then right. Gage had been hounding him about this date since he saw Casimir drop him off at home. Ronin was his typical quiet self and stayed out of it, but hell, Sutton was tired of trying to explain himself to his friend. Sut loved Gage like a brother, but, damn it, he needed to support Sut right now, not nag the fuck out of him. “We’re trying to go about our mating like the humans do, Gage. It’s a date, simple as that.”
Gage sighed. “I know you keep saying that, but I seriously don’t get it. Why would you go on a date with that asswipe? I’d go with the green. It goes better with your eyes.”
Sutton took off the red button-down and exchanged it with the green. Damn, Gage knew how to color match. “Cas and I talked a lot when I was in that mine, Gage. I understand more today than I did before. Just please trust me on this. I have to at least try one more time. He’s my mate.”
“How many more chances are you going to give this guy, Sut? If you and he met twice a week for a little bump and grind that would mean that in a year alone he was given over a hundred and four chances. You deserve better,” Gage insisted.
Sutton sat down at his vanity and started to apply his eyeliner. “Gage, please drop it.”
“Damn it, Sut, it’s like that mine falling on your head made you blind. It was only ten days ago you were drinking yourself stupid and crying so hard you threw up on my best shoes. Now you’re getting sexed up for the same man who keeps breaking your heart. Enough is enough. Why can’t you just move on?” Gage asked, in frustration.
Sut went
to tell Gage to shut the fuck up. He was making Sutton more nervous. Instead, surprisingly, the normally quiet Ronin said, “Love is blind, Gage.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Gage asked.
“Paranormals are already programmed to be with their mate once they meet them. The thing is, if you add in love to that mixture there is nothing you won’t do for that person, no matter how insane it sounds. People have faked their own deaths for love, stolen for love, and in some instances, have literally killed all in the name of love. Sutton has spent a lot of time with Casimir. It might have been mostly if not all physical, but I can see he loves the man,” Ronin said.